


I knew you loved him

by castieldeansangel



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:56:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4349654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castieldeansangel/pseuds/castieldeansangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's going to be Legen-" Barney does his typical pause that doesn't keep anyone expecting because, well, everyone knows what comes next "dary!" And there it is.<br/>No one is actually paying attention, no one but Ted.<br/>Everyone knows there's something up with them, but they decide not to interfere, to wait until they are ready, though it's kind of hard to keep their mouth shut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Robin

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, couldn't think of other name.

She was the first one who noticed, and not because she paid much attention to them, but because she lived with one of them. Ted had been acting as normal, except for one thing: he didn't always sleep in their apartment. At first she thought he was dating some girl and that he didn't want anyone to know who she was. Maybe an ex-girlfriend or maybe a girl who wasn't pretty enough for them to see her without judging, or perhaps someone forbidden, she didn't give it much thought at first. The interest arrived with a phone call. 

One day, at about eight o'clock, she was in the living room, watching some TV and eating popcorn while Ted was taking a shower. His cellphone, which he had left in the table besides the couch, started ringing and Robin answered, as she had done many times before. It was Barney's number.

"Hey, you wanna come over?" She heard Barney ask before anything came out of her mouth. 

"Sure! What are we gonna do?" It sounded like a mock, because one.

"Robin? Why do you have Ted's phone?" Barney sounded a bit odd. 

"The real question is, why are you inviting Ted to come over?" 

Barney stuttered for a moment, but recovered quickly and talked as normal as ever. "I got this new Star Wars movie collection with extra scenes and stuff, and you know how Ted loves Star Wars." She almost believed it, _almost_. The previous stutter gave him up, Barney never stuttered unless he was truly nervous. 

"Well, Ted's taking a shower. I'll tell him you called when he comes out." She tried not to laugh at her own words and hung up. 

 _Star Wars movie collection_  she thought  _good excuse, too good excuse._ When Ted finally entered the living room, she handed him his cellphone and told him Barney had called. Ted was trying really hard to hide his panic as he asked what he had said. She had to give him that, he was hiding it pretty well, she wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't been looking for it, unluckily for him, she was. 

That's how Robin noticed there was something up with Barney and Ted, she was the first one. And she was also very happy about it, so happy that she decided not to interfere. 


	2. Lily

She was the second one to figure something wasn't right. And it was kind of obvious she would be one of the firsts, she was the most perceptive of the gang. She didn't find out thanks to her closeness to Ted, but to Barney. Lily had always been like his confident, if he was in trouble or just feeling low, she was the one he talked to, so yes, she was one of the persons who knew him the most. And that night at Maclaren's she was the only one who saw how Barney, a few hours after getting the number of a hot blonde who was totally his type (big boobs, acceptable butt, and the most important thing: a lot of daddy issues), threw the paper away. At first Lily thought she had confused the situation, that maybe he had thrown away something else, but no, it wasn't it; he had thrown away a pink post-it note, just as the one the girl had given him. She shuddered, that wasn't just weird, that was also kind of disturbing. An investigation was necessary, but she decided not to tell anyone until she was completely sure. _Sorry, Marshmallow_ she thought _but Barney is my friend and whatever this is he doesn't seem to want anyone else to know._

The next day, she paid more attention to Barney than ever. He flirted with a beautiful brunette with hazel eyes, long, curly, black hair and got her number. He kept it in his pocket and she gave it side looks, but nothing odd happened in the whole time they were there, finally she dropped it and thought it was nothing, just her imagination playing tricks. But at the end of the night, when they were all leaving to go to their places, she came back for her jacket and saw something almost unbelievable: Barney was next to a trash can, making the paper where the girl's number was into pieces. She pretended she didn't see, taking her jacket and leaving as fast as she could. Something was happening, and she was going to find out what it was.  

The day after, she went to give Marshall his lunch and then went to visit Barney, a secretary told her that he was in a very important meeting, but she could wait in his office. When she entered, she examined the place, looking for something out of place, anything out of the ordinary, but she couldn't find anything. Posters, bottles of alcohol, orchids... wait, orchids!? Lily widened her eyes and hurried over Barney's desk, she looked at the flowers, they were blue, with a purple hue, very beautiful. Her eyes caught a little paper hanging from a branch and opened it.  _I know you don't like flowers, but I like giving them, so suck it up._ That's what the paper said, no signature, no other message, no hint of who sent them, but Lily didn't need it. She knew exactly who had sent them, she had seen that handwriting millions of times. On reminders left on the fridge, supermarket lists, and everytime _he_ had taught her or explained something to her and used a blackboard or a piece of paper. 

 _Damn it Ted, and you too, Barney. Why didn't you tell me?_ She thought to herself, feeling angry and kind of sad because none of them seemed to trust their friends enough you tell them that sort of things. She left, telling the secretary that she had an appointment and that she would come back later, she didn't. And she also didn't tell anyone about Ted and Barney, if they didn't want them to know, then they wouldn't. 

That's how Lily found out. 


	3. Marshall

He was one of the most oblivious, so it was hard for him to know things unless the others told him, but that time it wasn't Lily who opened his eyes, it was destiny. Maybe saying "destiny" it's too much, but I like the word and it's my favourite way of explaining what happened. 

He and Lily had arrived to the bar early after work, so they asked for some beers. He wanted to take a leak, but the restroom was out of service, so he decided to go to Ted and Robin's apartment. As he walked in, he didn't notice anything because he really wanted to pee, but when he was finished and got out of the restroom, something strange happened. 

Moans and groans were coming from Ted's room, at first he thought he was with a girl, so he smiled and nodded thinking  _nice, dude._ But he found out it wasn't a woman when someone shouted  _I'm coming, Ted!_ To his great surprise, it wasn't a woman's voice, oh no, it was Barney's. His smile faded and his eyes widened. _Ted was with Barney, they were... they were..._ He ran out of the apartment before he could finish that thought. 

He was a dude, and he found out that his two best friends were... you know. So the last thing he wanted was to talk, or even think about it. He decided to just forget about that and did his best not to yell  _They are sleeping together!_ when they arrived to the bar half an hour later, Ted about ten minutes before Barney.  _  
_

That's how Marshall realized they were together. 


	4. Ted

Barney had always been one of his greatest friends, of course, he had flaws, but who didn't? He enjoyed spending time with him, letting himself go sometimes to whatever Barney's demented mind pushed him to do (and pretending he didn't like them even though they were really amazing experiences), also the help to hook up wasn't bad at all, listening to his crazy and obviously made up stories about his sex adventures with perfect women was fun, watching him chase a woman was kinda entertaining too, but when it worked, when they left together and Barney winked at them just before leaving the bar... it wasn't as good. He had always had this... feeling? He didn't know how to explain it, and he didn't want to know, he was scared of what it could be. Though he knew, deep down, that it was, if not jealousy, something very similar. Since the first day he decided to push those strange _emotions_ down, bury them where all the unwanted was, in the dump of his mind, right next to everything he once felt for Robin. But he knew those feelings were different from everything else, because they never actually died, he never forgot them. They were there, burning like the last flames of a fireplace in the winter, refusing to die. Regardless of how resistant those feelings were, he knew that whatever it was the depths of his mind craved, it would never happen. 

Sometimes, extraordinary things happen, I'm talking about the kind of thing some people (which I call realistics and others call pessimists) refer to as "coincidences", some others (the dreamers or positivist) as "miracles" and some others, including me, claim it is "destiny". This one is one of those.

A particularly sunny Saturday, Barney was celebrating... something at his apartment. He didn't remembered exactly what, because he, as everyone else, used to ignore the grossest things he talked about and the party surely had something to do with sex, so he decided to just go and not ask. Barney had told them to be there at nine, and they were all cool with it. But when he told them to dress nicely (and, yes Ted, it means a suit. No, a blazer is not okay, suit up!), they weren't so cool about it, but agreed anyway. 

Ted was excited, just as usual. Deep inside, he always kept the hope that "the one" might finally decide to make an appearance. Everywhere he went, literally _anywhere_ , he thought that maybe he would meet a nice girl, ask her on a date, go out with her for a while (long enough for them to be completely sure they were soulmates) and then they'd get married and have children. So he put on a suit, some perfume and spent half an hour fixing his hair. When he is finally ready to go, he gets a message. _**Ted, the grades are supposed to be given tomorrow, I'm only missing yours.**  _Ted closed his eyes.  _Fuck, the grades._ He looked at his clock, 8:54 p.m. He sighed and took his laptop, Barney's party would have to wait. 

*

When he finished, he checked the hour, it was 9:44. He was _a bit_ late, but he guessed it wasn't that bad. He went downstairs, hailed a cab and went to Barney's apartment. But he wasn't there. No one was. There was a note on the door. **_You're late. You said you'd be here._**  Ted closed his eyes and sighed. _Damn it!_ He tried calling Barney twice, he didn't get an answer so called Marshall, he answer at the second ring. 

"He's really mad, dude." Marshall said hurriedly, as if he was really busy. 

"Where are you?" Ted frown, confused. _Wasn't the party supposed to be at Barney's apartment?_

"At the Bouley, man. Barney's reunion was here, we came in a limo. Didn't you get our calls?" Marshall sounded mildly impatient, but Ted ignored this. 

"The Bouley? The one in TriBeCa? Man, that place is really expensive! And no, I didn't hear my phone ringing, it hasn't been working well lately, remember? Since it fell." 

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, Barney seems pretty upset. This is a very big deal for him and you are not here. I don't think he wants to see you right now." He was very serious, but also sounded empathic. 

Ted was bewildered. _Why would Barney do such a fuss for just a nasty sex achievement? Unless it wasn't about sex..._ "What is Barney celebrating?" 

"Dude, you don't remember!?" Marshall sounded as if he had just heard someone say that the Loch Monster didn't exist. 

"Hm..." Ted did his best to recall that night or any other mention of the party, but he failed miserably. "No idea."

The answer made Marshall puff air in disbelief, but explained him anyway. "Dude, he was going to be made partner of the GNB today. This is a great thing, he is now even more important for the bank!" 

Ted stayed still, not able to say anything. He knew how important job was for Barney and Marshall was right, those were terrific news. It was a great step for him, a brilliant moment. And he wasn't there for him. " _Fuck_."

* 

Showing up an hour and a half later wasn't a good idea, he actually couldn't think of any "good idea", nothing he could possibly do seemed right. He chose to wait, to wait until Barney was back and apologise. It probably wouldn't work, he was ready for Barney's rage, ready to walk away, ashamed, after Barney shouted or just calmly tells him to go away. He was ready for all of this, not for what happened. 

It was half past midnight when Ted, who was sitting, leaning on the door of Barney's apartment, heard slow steps coming in his direction and stopping right next to him. He looked up to see Barney, wearing a beautiful blue suit with a bow tie. A _bow tie?_ Ted was feeling tired, so he couldn't think of anything to say. "You don't wear bow ties." It's the only thing that came from his lips, still, they were no more than a murmur. 

"My boss gave it to me." Ted flinched when he heard the _exhaustion_ in Barney's voice, together with the loss and pain in his eyes that made it all almost unbearable. But then the worst part arrived, he saw the disappointment. The one he had only seen when he saw his father for the first time and found out he wasn't what he had thought, and that another person had gotten from him what he so much craved, a father. It made Ted's heart hurt. He stood up and stood right in front of him, fearing he would try to leave, feeling that if he didn't fix things now, things would never be the same. 

"I'm sorry." His voice sounded broken and he knew Barney could see how true those words were, because he felt his eyes stinging and his cheeks flushing from anger, but not anger toward Barney, he felt angry with himself. 

"It was important, Ted. And I wanted you to be there, more than anyone else, I wanted _you_ to be there." Ted closed his eyes, feeling _so_ guilty. He wanted to make the look in Barney's face disappear, but he didn't know how. When he opened his eyes again, an idea emerged from the depths of his mind. Two things could happen if he did it: it could ruin everything, their friendship would be over and any opportunity he had of fixing things would disappear. And the other option, the one he aimed, could make everything better, maybe much more complicated, but also much better. 

He remembered all the encouraging words Barney used to tell him. _Just go for it, do something wild and nuts for once in your life Theodore! Just do it!_ Gulping and taking a deep breath, he went for it. 

Leaning into him, crushing their lips together and staying still to give Barney the chance to move away, shove him off or just kick him on the groin, but none of those things happened. Ted look at Barney's eyes, which were wide open, and looked for any emotion or hint of what he was thinking. Then, out of a sudden, the pair of eyes in front of him closed and every fraction of Barney's body, which just a moment before was stiffened, relaxed. And after that everything was fast, blurry and desperate. They kissed, entered the apartment and got naked, every movement was clumsy and fantic, they both had wanted it for _so_ long. Somehow, they got to Barney's bed, where Ted slowly made love to Barney, apologizing against every inch of skin he could reach, trying to amend the pain he had provoked. 

When they were done, Ted wrapped his arms around Barney's waist, placing his head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." He said one more time, against the soft skin of his ear.

"It's okay." Barney smiled faintly. "Just never let me down again, I can handle anyone else. But not you."

"I promise."

And that's how it started. Thanks to a mistake Ted made.  

 


	5. Barney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you don't like the feelings, but I love them so...

It was great! Wait, no. It wasn't just great, it was awesome. Who am I kidding? It wasn't awesome! It was... LEGENDARY! For the first time in his life he didn't feel like a failure who tried to bang chicks just to fill the empty spot inside him, there was no need to accomplish a pointless challenge - like picking up a girl while wearing a ridiculous hat or shirt - to feel proud of himself. This time he had something to be smug about and he knew there was no way in hell his friends would be disgusted by it. He was named partner, he was at last an irreplaceable part of the bank. It was indeed a great thing and he was sure going to celebrate. 

There was no question about who he would invite, his friends were the first to be invited, then he called his brother and his mother, finally he made the courtesy calls, his boss and some important people of his office. He made a reservation at the Bouley, one of the best restaurants in New York. He had to pay a lot of money so they could cancel someone else's reservation because it was supposed to be done at least a one week before, but it was totally worth it. Everything was perfect, nothing could ruin that day.

 

Everything went wrong that day. For everyone else it was the perfect night, except for Barney. Why? Easy, because Ted wasn't there. His best friend in the whole universe wasn't there. He had asked them to get to his apartment at 9, he wanted to take them all to the restaurant in a limo he had rented. It was 9:34 when the manager of the restaurant called him and told him that all the other guests were already there. Lily, Marshall and Robin told him that maybe something had come up and that was why Ted couldn't go, and that was probably also why he couldn't answer his phone. Finally, at 9:39 they convinced him and they all left the apartment. None of them knowing that Ted was just 6 blocks from there. 

They made an excuse to why they had arrived so late and the party started, Barney just half listening to what people said and not even relishing the congratulations, his mind being somewhere else the whole night. He thought about all the possible reasons Ted wasn't there, maybe he had had an accident, but he threw that idea out immediately because they were all his emergency contacts; maybe he fell asleep watching some boring 60's movie or maybe he had gone to the bar and picked up a really nice girl. A pinch of pain appeared with this thought, but buried it down right besides a folder of inappropriate thoughts of Ted, which weren't many... Okay, they were plenty. His cheeks hurt because of fake smiling so much, all just to look good in front of those goddamn people. 

Of course his friends noticed how miserable he was, they always did. And also, the fact that he almost didn't talk, joke or even flirted gave it up. God, he didn't even get excited when he opened his presents. Everyone gave him great gifts, especially his boss, who gave him an incredibly expensive bow tie. He didn't wear them, but that one just couldn't stay saved and he knew it.  He also drank. A lot. Everyone noticed, but no one mentioned it. It was his party after all. 

The party didn't last very long because the mood wasn't the best and Barney really didn't feel like staying. At around midnight he said thank you and goodbye to the last invite. 

He smiled at his friends and thanked them for helping him make it a good night and then they all left in different taxis. 

In his way home he thought about going to a bar or to the strip club but the only thing he wanted to do was drink until he blacked out. The best place to do that was his apartment. 

When he arrived he found something he definitely wasn't expecting: Ted was sitting right in front of his door. Barney just stood by his side, thinking if he should say something, shout, tell Ted to leave or walk away. Before he could do any, he heard Ted's broken voice. 

"You don't wear bow ties." Barney was stunned for a moment, he was NOT expecting that.

"My boss gave it to me." He knew he should probably be furious at him, but he just couldn't. He didn't feel angry or mad, he just felt... empty. Ted was the friend who was always there, the person he always wanted to impress, to be liked by, his BEST FRIEND. And he never imagined he, of all people, would let him down like that. Of everyone he could have taken something like that, but not him. 

He saw Ted's every move as he stood up in front of him. "I'm sorry." He heard him say. It hurt. Holy shit, it really did. Stung like a goddamn needle in his heart. Well, not like a needle. More like a fucking knife. Yeah, that's a bit more accurate. 

"It was important, Ted. And I wanted you to be there, more than anyone else, I wanted  _you_  to be there." The words flew and for the first time in his life, he didn't care about showing his emotions. He felt disappointed and he wanted Ted to know it. 

A year happened, or maybe it was a month? A week? One hour? Ten seconds? As long as it had been, it still felt like forever for Barney as he waited for Ted's next move. In his mind millions of thoughts came to life, was Ted going to leave him there and wait until he got over it? Was he going to keep saying sorry and ask what he could do to make it up to him? Would he...

His line of thoughts was halted by Ted's lips on his. _Fuck,_ Barney thought,  _Is this really happening?_ His mind said  _No way,_ but a lower part of him said  _Damn yeah, dude._ He decided to follow the second one, it had always worked for him so, why stop now? He leaned into the kiss and let himself be surrounded by Ted.  _  
_

Suddenly, they were in his apartment, Ted pulling desperately at the stupid bowtie so he could take his shirt off. Barney pulled at it and didn't care about the expensive fabric, he just needed to be touched by Ted so damn much. With the shirt went his pants, boxers, shoes and decency. They moved to his bed and Ted pushed Barney softly so he fell on the bed, and then he placed himself on top of him, spreading his legs a bit. 

Ted looked at him in the eye, Barney could see him hesitant and Barney nodded a little to encourage him. Soon, Ted entered him. Barney got what he had wanted for such a long time. And for the first time he didn't think of the act as just banging some person, he felt it as actually _making love._ And, God, he liked it. He liked it a lot. 


	6. Just spit it out already!

"Why don't they say it already? This is killing me!" 

"Me too! Robin, I know we promised not to talk about it until they were ready but I don't think my mouth will stand much longer without accidentally making innuendos, you know? I mean, isn't a month enough time of preparation to come out to the world?"

"I don't know, I mean, we all know Ted is a wuss. But Barney!? I thought he wouldn't shut up about his new boyfriend!" 

Their conversation came to a halt thanks to the arrival of the "secret" couple, who had gone to get the beers. 

"Hey, what are you two whispering about?" Ted asked as he set the beers in the table. 

"Nothing, what would be whispering about? You know we never keep secrets from each other, that's what friendship is, right? Trusting each other and always being honest." Lily nodded her head suggestively at Barney and Ted as they sat down. 

Barney raised an eyebrow at Robin who just shrugged. 

"Yeah, talking about friends, where is Marshall?" Ted looked around the bar, completely oblivious to the situation. 

"He had a little stomach problem. He should be here soon." Lily deflated as the conversation moved somewhere else. No one seemed to notice how Barney kept a greater distance between himself and Ted, nor how he avoid as much as possible any physical contact with Ted

 

**An hour later...**

_This is my chance_ Barney thought as a hot chick came in alone.

"Well, kids. Daddy's gotta go find someone to sleep with tonight" He winked as he stood up and walked toward the bar. 

"Ugh. There he goes again." Robin looked slightly disgusted, but mostly amused, she knew it was all a stunt and felt a bit sorry for them feeling that they had to hide. 

On the other hand, Lily was pissed and just rolled her eyes.

Ted tried to ignore it, he knew it was all fake, he was the one who asked Barney to pretend that everything was as normal while he prepared himself to let the world know, but a part of him felt a pang of jealousy nonetheless. 

"So, you're not gonna believe what I saw yester..."

"Oh, my God" Robin interrupted Ted's attempt of distraction, and the look on her face made him turn around to the bar, where Barney was undertaking a quite hardcore makeout session with the girl he went to  _pretend_ to woo. 

"Damn it, Ted! Aren't you gonna say anything?" Lily looked at Ted with wide eyes and an angry expression.

Ted turned around and frowned, fake confusion painted in his face. "Why would I?" 

Lily sighed and gave him a pointed, no-bullshit look. "Look, I know you don't want to say anything and we have no right to make you admit something you're not ready to say-"

"Lily, I don't think this is the moment to-"

"but are you really stupid enough as to let someone else kiss your man just so nobody finds out you love him?" Lily continued, ignoring Robin's interruption.

"So, you already know?" Ted asked her bewildered, receiving a short nod from Lily. He then turned to Robin, who gave him an apologetic look and a shrug. "Okay, then." He whispered before standing up and walking toward Barney and the girl, who were very close to each other, talking quietly.

Ted cleared his throat as he approached, Barney and the girl turning to look at him. "Hey, um. I believe this is my boyfriend here, who you are flirting with." 

"Ted-" Barney started to explain. 

"Boyfriend!?" The girl shouted. "You didn't tell me you were a faggot." She said loud enough for everyone in the bar to hear, everyone including Lily and Robin.

"What did you just called him?" Lily asked, arriving almost instantly to where they were, her ears tinted red with her anger. 

"I called him a faggot, which is exactly what these two are. Why, you have a problem with it?" The girl raised an perfectly fixed eyebrow at Lily. 

"Okay, girl. You just earned this." She said as she rolled her sleeves. 

"Lily!" Robin's voice stopped her arm mid-air, as the girl squeaked. 

"What? Are you really gonna tell me that hitting her is too much?" The girl sighed, relieved. 

"Of course not, I was just going to tell you that I can take care of your bag" 

"Oh, great." After handing her bag, Lily smiled and hit the girl in her perfect nose. 

...

"So, what did I miss?" Marshall arrived to the bar, taking a seat by Lily, who had ice wrapped in a cloth on top of her hand. 

"Barney kissed a girl, Ted went to stop it, a girl insulted them, Lily broke her nose and got us free beer." Robin answered matter-of-factly. 

Marshall's eyes were wide open, he looked at Barney and Ted, who had their hands entwined on top of the table as they nodded. Then he turned to Lily and kissed her, checking her hand. 

"Well, it was about time guys." He said after making sure that Lily was okay. 

"I still can't believe you all knew already." Ted looked down at the table. 

"C'mon Ted, it's not like you two could hide the little hearts that appeared in your eyes each time any of you guys entered a room." Lily smiled at Ted and Barney, who smiled shyly at each other. 

"So... are we gonna hear the story or what?" Robin asked, clutching her beer. 

Ted and Barney shared a look. 

"Oh, yes. This story is LEGEN- wait for it" Barney started. 

 

THE END. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO, this is it. Sorry for being a shitty writer who can't even finish a story quickly :c


End file.
